Don’t Take The Pith!

Don’t Take The Pith!

“I say, you haven’t taken the pith, have you old boy?”


Written by Peter Rae – Directed by Helen Bang

Two beloved returning characters…
A colonial outpost…
A missing talisman…
A tentative peace with the local tribe


Lots of stuff that isn’t all worthy and important…


HOT on the heels of last-year’s HIT DEBUT PLAY at the Drayton Arms, An Absolute Farce of a Murder Mystery (5* reviews & FINALIST Best Comedy London Pub Theatre Awards), Canonbie Productions presents This Season’s HOTTEST* Play.*(Yes, a pun).

Set in the year Nineteen Hundred & Somerset Maugham, noted psychic Lady Susan Bloom & self-proclaimed ‘wit, rake and raconteur’ Lord Sebastian Hardcastle are summoned by The Crown to the colonial island of Not-Borneo. (It’s not a million miles away from Borneo, but it’s somewhere you definitely haven’t been and so you’re entirely unqualified to criticise our depiction of non-Western European civilisations).

The talisman of the local tribe has gone missing – and the list of suspects is made up of a bunch of hilarious and excellently-defined characters: is it Lord Peter Meur, head of the British Outpost, or his wife, Lady Fleur de Meur? Could it be an inside-job, orchestrated by powerful and drop-dead-gorgeous Headswoman of the local tribe - Adiratna? Or her suspicious First Minister, her “No. 1” - Kanaka? The equally exotic Doctor Frenchman (pronounced Fronkmain), a guest on the island, with hidden motives? Or in true unexpected-Christie-style – the unassuming servant, Maud Pauper?

OR – are things not quite what they seem?

(Yeah, probably that).




Content warnings: Potentially excessive cream costuming; historically awkward colonial views; contemporary lefty views on colonialism; actual sand on stage; I think there’s a single “bollocks”; Excessive meta-anachronistic references; flashing/strobing lights (on a fringe budget); mild sequel vibes.

Theatre Company Reviews:

Praise for previous Canonbie productions:

“The play is so funny! A world premiere and I laughed from start to finish.” - Theatre Reviews.Design

Praise for previous Canonbie productions:

“Fans of Agatha Christie and murder mysteries will need to get themselves down to the Drayton Arms Theatre for this lively and hilarious play.” - Love London, Love Culture

Production Details

Run Time:

  • Act One: 45 mins

  • Act Two: 45 mins

Age Restrictions:

  • None



  • Tue 21st May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Wed 22nd May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Thu 23rd May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Fri 24th May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Sat 25th May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Tue 28th May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Wed 29th May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Thu 30th May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Fri 31st May 2024 - 7:30 pm

  • Sat 1st Jun 2024 - 7:30 pm

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